Here it comes....ready or not! I think I'm ready!!!

The past few days I have been reflecting back on the past 18 years (almost) of my life. And I would be telling a lie if I said I've had a terrible life. There have definitely been some extremely rough spots, but the joy and happiness I have felt quite drastically outweigh the sorrow and sadness. There were bad, dark instances that I thought would never end, and I don't know how they ceased, but I'm glad that my family was there to pull and shove me through my life at some points...haha. I look back on these 18 years and can distinctly see the Lord's hand in all of it. Any experience I think about, I see how it has helped me, how it has tested me, and how the Lord showered me with love. There have been very sacred experiences that will never be forgotten, and I thank the Lord dearly for who I have become, and who I will become with his help. There are definitely times I very much dislike things I do, who I am at times, but understanding that the Lord can help me overcome those things brings so much hope. Maybe not happiness or joy, but definitely hope, which allows me to keep going. My parents' love has helped me see that and understand that love really does conquer all. Haha. :D Maybe not the romantic lovey-dovey love, but the love of a child to a parent, a sibling to a sibling, the love a family shares. Without that love, my life would have been very very dark. Love brightened it up, and because of it, I am happy.

With that reflection, I can't think of how wonderfully my senior year is coming to an end. I just performed in Concerto Night at my school and the Lord was behind it. In a way, I felt him pulling my hands along the keyboard, helping me do it better than I would have thought I could. And I thank him so much for that tender mercy he has given me. It was a little thing that I wanted, but he let me have it and through that I felt his love greatly.

I also had a wonderful night at Prom with my best friend and that night was practically perfect. A night I never imagined I'd be able to have. My whole life I've always seen myself as the girl who doesn't get to have what the seemingly happy people have. Everytime I thought or saw anything related to prom I always said,"Let them enjoy it since you will most likely not get too." And I was happy for everyone who did get to experience it. I had no idea what to expect, but I got asked by my best friend and I had a wonderful, wonderful time. And I must thank the Lord for that too. He had blessed me with great people to surround me and sometimes I take that for granted.

I'm able to graduate! That is such an accomplishment that I feel is not only for me, but for everyone who has been a major part of my life. How sad it would be not only for me, but for everyone who had hopes and worked so hard to help me......how sad it would be if I didn't graduate. And so thank you Mom, Dad, Laurel, Lydia, even Georgia and Ruby. :) Thank you dear friends, Morgan, Maddie, Mabel, Dale, Julia....and then some, thank you for letting me, helping me get things done. It was hard for all of us sometimes, but we did it and hopefully from all of our time and experiences together we can all do better in the coming years of our lives. And I again, goodness...I just can't thank my Savior enough...., I can remember very specific instances where the Lord has helped me SO much. Where He has given me that little extra nudge, an idea has popped up, I've opened my mouth and He's filled it....I am so grateful for those tender, sacred experiences where I am again able to feel Heavenly Father's unyielding love.

What more can I say? The Lord loves me dearly, and I love him so much! I would not be here if it were not for this never ending love. Quite literally, I would not be here. And so to end this post (a rather lengthy one, I'm sorry), I shall say, the Lord loves you too. The afternoon before my concerto night performance I was thinking, "You can do anything with the Lord on your side." And I was quite certain of that. But then another thought popped into my mind, "You can do anything as long as YOU are on the Lord's side." Very similarly worded as the first statement, but a completely different meaning. I hope that through the coming years, which will certainly be trying, that I will be on the Lord's side.

My life is not perfect, and I have made many mistakes, but I have a firm testimony of the gospel, of the Savior, and of my purpose here on earth. I am happy. :D