Nothing Like Family
Today I got a new calling in my ward! After working through a bit of pride and selfishness I finally saw that this calling will help me become more of what I want to become. Already I've learned a couple of lessons from thinking about it and from my setting apart blessing. Any guesses as to what it is??
I'm the new ward chorister. At first thought I was really disappointed and felt slightly side-stepped. That's not a very good attitude to leave with after an interview with a member of the bishopric. After a few minutes of these feelings I realized that the Lord wouldn't ever side-step me or put me in a position to make me feel inferior or miniscule. That's what I felt had just happened, but once I realized that my heart harbored such feelings I quickly wanted to find reasons that I needed this calling. What can I learn from this? How can I serve in this calling? Why do I feel this way toward this calling?
3 insights:
#1: My pride needs to be cut down.
I felt so disappointed because my entire life my family has been looked up to as great examples of love and service. I was seen that way because I was in a family that had parents who loved and served those around them. So naturally I felt I was just as revered as them even though I hardly acted as they did and have had a much smaller amount of charity toward my brothers and sisters than they have. When I got this call, I felt that I was too good to be the chorister. A terrible, prideful, snobbish way of looking at it. And I realized that after thinking about this for a bit of time. The Lord needed to humble me, and I have come to accept that this is where I am needed, and this is where I can continue to work on my spiritual growth and become a more loving person as I see and connect with those I'm leading in song, singing praises to our Lord.
#2: My work load will be lightened.
In my setting apart the bishopric member blessed me to find time to fulfill this calling to my satisfaction. Lately I haven't been finding the time to do my school work. (I'm in a vicious cycle of extreme productivity then extreme non-productivity. A happy medium seems unreachable even though I know I can find it somewhere.) When I heard that I thought, "How would I not find the time? This is almost the easiest calling there is!" As I let the phrase, "find time to fulfill this calling" drift through my head the idea came to mind that the Lord is giving me this calling so that I don't have to stress out about large responsibilities in the church right now. He wants me to do well in the path I've chosen which includes being enrolled in classes right now. My education is important enough to him that he will help me grow in a simple, yet meaningful (if I make it that way) way. He is helping me understand that I really need to work harder. I have the time, I have the support, I have the ability, I have the discipline. I just need to find the motivation. If I don't put in effort toward my classes, I won't put in effort toward my calling. If I do put in effort toward my classes, I will put in effort toward my calling. I will find time to fulfill my calling to my satisfaction, which means, as I felt the spirit communicate to me, that I will find time to fulfill the demands of my classes to my satisfaction.
#3: I will learn more about service.
There is obviously much that I need to learn. I would like to think I am more humbled now than I was this morning, and that I understand that the Lord will have me serve where I will learn the most about how to love and serve Him through loving and serving His children. I hope to be able to serve to the greatest of my capacity and to help others understand the great blessing music can be in their lives. Our creation of music brings us closer to Him and will change hearts and testimonies if we allow it too. If my calling allows me to invite the spirit into someone's life in a way it hasn't yet so that they are able to grow in the Lord in some way, then I will feel I have served successfully. I may never find out the effect I could have on others, but if I serve with the Spirit, I will have served successfully.
So, with my calling and insights comprehended by the end of church, I went to my Aunt and Uncle's house to celebrate my Grandpa's birthday (he's 70 years old!!) I had a marvelous evening of laughter and bonding that made me feel comfort and love. I felt like a part of the evening instead of a simple spectator as I so often feel because of my own willingness to be a part of the conversation (this is something else I'm trying to change.) I had a fabulous evening.
I love my family (immediate and extended) very much even though none of them are perfect, they are all trying to be obedient and follow the Savior.
I'm the new ward chorister. At first thought I was really disappointed and felt slightly side-stepped. That's not a very good attitude to leave with after an interview with a member of the bishopric. After a few minutes of these feelings I realized that the Lord wouldn't ever side-step me or put me in a position to make me feel inferior or miniscule. That's what I felt had just happened, but once I realized that my heart harbored such feelings I quickly wanted to find reasons that I needed this calling. What can I learn from this? How can I serve in this calling? Why do I feel this way toward this calling?
3 insights:
#1: My pride needs to be cut down.
I felt so disappointed because my entire life my family has been looked up to as great examples of love and service. I was seen that way because I was in a family that had parents who loved and served those around them. So naturally I felt I was just as revered as them even though I hardly acted as they did and have had a much smaller amount of charity toward my brothers and sisters than they have. When I got this call, I felt that I was too good to be the chorister. A terrible, prideful, snobbish way of looking at it. And I realized that after thinking about this for a bit of time. The Lord needed to humble me, and I have come to accept that this is where I am needed, and this is where I can continue to work on my spiritual growth and become a more loving person as I see and connect with those I'm leading in song, singing praises to our Lord.
#2: My work load will be lightened.
In my setting apart the bishopric member blessed me to find time to fulfill this calling to my satisfaction. Lately I haven't been finding the time to do my school work. (I'm in a vicious cycle of extreme productivity then extreme non-productivity. A happy medium seems unreachable even though I know I can find it somewhere.) When I heard that I thought, "How would I not find the time? This is almost the easiest calling there is!" As I let the phrase, "find time to fulfill this calling" drift through my head the idea came to mind that the Lord is giving me this calling so that I don't have to stress out about large responsibilities in the church right now. He wants me to do well in the path I've chosen which includes being enrolled in classes right now. My education is important enough to him that he will help me grow in a simple, yet meaningful (if I make it that way) way. He is helping me understand that I really need to work harder. I have the time, I have the support, I have the ability, I have the discipline. I just need to find the motivation. If I don't put in effort toward my classes, I won't put in effort toward my calling. If I do put in effort toward my classes, I will put in effort toward my calling. I will find time to fulfill my calling to my satisfaction, which means, as I felt the spirit communicate to me, that I will find time to fulfill the demands of my classes to my satisfaction.
#3: I will learn more about service.
There is obviously much that I need to learn. I would like to think I am more humbled now than I was this morning, and that I understand that the Lord will have me serve where I will learn the most about how to love and serve Him through loving and serving His children. I hope to be able to serve to the greatest of my capacity and to help others understand the great blessing music can be in their lives. Our creation of music brings us closer to Him and will change hearts and testimonies if we allow it too. If my calling allows me to invite the spirit into someone's life in a way it hasn't yet so that they are able to grow in the Lord in some way, then I will feel I have served successfully. I may never find out the effect I could have on others, but if I serve with the Spirit, I will have served successfully.
So, with my calling and insights comprehended by the end of church, I went to my Aunt and Uncle's house to celebrate my Grandpa's birthday (he's 70 years old!!) I had a marvelous evening of laughter and bonding that made me feel comfort and love. I felt like a part of the evening instead of a simple spectator as I so often feel because of my own willingness to be a part of the conversation (this is something else I'm trying to change.) I had a fabulous evening.
I love my family (immediate and extended) very much even though none of them are perfect, they are all trying to be obedient and follow the Savior.
you have such a good spirit. :) I very much enjoy reading your blog. you are so good in reminding us all to have the Lord involved in EVERY aspect of our lives, not just church. Love you!
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